Kittens mew mew

My sis just passed me this book called “The Law of Attraction – The Secret Behind The Secret”. She did so with good intentions but i totally disagree with what the book is saying. Normally i would let this pass but i can’t ignore this simply because it passes off what is in my opinion New Age Hogwash as scientifically grounded fact, which just makes it all the more dangerous. But i leave you to be the judge of that.

For those not familiar with the Law of Attraction, it is stated simply as ” I attract into my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative.” And the scientific basis for this is that all matter is made up of atoms, each of which has a nucleus around which orbit electrons. Now these atoms are in a constant state of “vibration” and when they are “aligned”, they create a motive force, pulling together much like how atoms in a metal when aligned according to positive and negative poles become magnetized. And yes this is given (almost) as it is with the inverted commas.

So imagine that your in a really bad neighbourhood, and u get bad “vibes. Or you meet this person at a party and you get a good “vibe” off him. These “vibes” are manifestations that are emitted based on the mood and feeling that your experiencing. The law of attraction will respond in part to your vibrations by giving you more of what your thinking of, be it negative or positive, by calling upon the universal energy thats all around us (and that obeys this law of attraction) and unfolding and orchestrating all that needs to be done to give you more of what your experiencing.

IF THIS WAS AN ESSAY I’ll BE FAILED FOR PLAGARISM.

But anyway you got the gist of it. The rest of the book deals with how you can shape your thinking by first getting rid of your negative thoughts and transferring them to positive thoughts like “I’m afraid I’ll fail” to “I’ll get good marks”. It also deals with how you define your goals in life through clarity by contrast. And finally the later part of the book deals with how you can identify and remove doubt (because doubt is a negative vibration). And the last part is what my sis says is stopping me from achieving the results that the book provides as anecdotal evidence.

And that anecdotal evidence it provides? It doesn’t ply you with tons of “real life” testimonials or such but instead it asks you to draw upon your own experiences, such as have you ever experienced anything that you would attribute to Coincidence? Luck? Fate? Fell into Place? Like you were thinking of this person and suddenly the phone rings and its the other person on the line? Or you somehow keep bumping into this person you like who you have no common schedule with but just somehow you keep meeting him? (I’m sorry i can’t think of any examples that don’t have romantic notions)

Therein lies the draw of this theory of attraction. A simple to understand concept, supposedly backed by sound scientific theory, padded with examples from the the listener’s experience that were beforehand attributed to pure coincidence, and the dangerous attraction to the notion that somehow you have control over your own destiny just by vibrating differently
First of all I’ll debunk the scientific basis that this theory is based on. Then I’ll tell you more about the mundane workings of why some of these examples work and lastly i’ll leave you with the this simple message – You can have control over your own destiny simple by having the right attitude, and not the right vibrations. This theory of attraction simply latches onto the already established field of self-help called positive thinking and packages it into a nice simple made for 21st century one-shot antidote.

Now the law of attraction is in its own words comparatively similar to magnetic theory, but even if you do believe that there are phenomena in this world that have yet to be explored/uncovered I’ll show you why a simple attraction theory does not hold water in this case. Imagine a magnet and a piece of metal. You put a magnet near this piece of metal and it gets pulled over. Easy as pie. Yet imagine the unearthly contortions of the time/space continuum that would be needed to achieve something as simple as someone that your thinking of calling you. So you give off these vibrations of warm feeling towards this person. These vibrations are supposed to travel over 40km to the receiver, being transmitted from one physical object to another, and when the receiver receives it, hes supposed to somehow acknowledge the identity of the sender who send it, decode the content of the message, and then set up a response of him actually picking up the phone and calling you? And yet this is what they expect you to believe, because the law of attraction is based on physical energy based phenomena. I would rather sooner believe that the law of attraction propel this person 40km into your arms than accept the divine intervention that would be needed to make this system work.

Ok than how do you suppose these vibes work then? Simple. Body language, pheromones, attitudes towards the person they all play a part in how someone responds to you. If your attracted to someone and you show it in the way you look at him, and react to him, is it a wonder then if he walks halfway across the room to ask for your number? Or did you just pulled him all the way from across the room with your vibrations? We can look at another situation lets say your aiming for this job. If your highly motivated to do the job your looking for, believe in yourself and not have an ounce of doubt in you, is it fate then if the job falls into your hands? Or did the recruiter just notice this air of confidence and capability that surrounds you and decided you were the right man for the job? This are all examples with more than concrete explainations : Positive Thinking. The rest i attribute to just pure dumb luck. Or divine intervention if you swing that way. Just don’t let this law sully the good name of science.

Among some of the tenets of positive thinking are:

- Those who are fired with an enthusiastic idea and who allow it to take hold and dominate their thoughts find that new worlds open for them. As long as enthusiasm holds out, so will new opportunities.

-Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.

-Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.

-Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

So have i convinced you yet?

i think i like my new job.

why? cos it feels like a game to me. more specifically an rpg.

every call i get, can be classified into two categories…sidequests and story objectives.

now sidequests are your simple run of the mill collect 200 pass go/collect this/kill that kinda thing…they form the bread and butter of your job right. they are the ones that quite literally put the money in that brand new set of jeans you bought. simple things like “how many points do i have” or “can you help me check my credit balance” or ” i want to cancel my card”. They form the bulk of calls that come in and usually they are quite simple and easy to accomplish. (unless they require humongous followup – in which case they get upgraded to sidequest – insane difficulty. like defeating ultima weapon in ff7.)

now story objectives are where things get interesting. sometimes a customer will call in and ask where is the card he was promised 2 weeks ago when he sent in the application form. and then you search the system and nothing is there. so you go “oh holy fucktard” and you shit your pants. and then you go fight that humongous monster that is part corporate redtape and part human error that results in this app not showing the system. sometimes there’s a quest timer involved during which if you don’t kill the monster by today you have to fight all the trash mobs because they have respawned again. hopefully when you defeat the monster he drops some sweet loot which will make the customer happy. or at least some crappy gear to give back to the questgiver. and whatever you give back to the customer…sometimes he gets angry and tag teams with the monster in which case it levels up and becomes this huge freaking dragon with an aoe fire breath that can summon whelplings. in which case you press the button and escalate to your manager – the lvl 60 dude decked with purples and hope for the best.

i get immense satisfaction from looking at my quest log at the end of the day and seeing how many objectives i have met and that alone makes it much better than my prev job because each quest completed means you gain experience and money. and hopefully at the end of the day you manage to level up. of course in a few months time i might hit the level cap and everything will just seem like a grind fest to me…even the gigantic boss monsters might be on farm status. and then it’ll become a case of been there and done that. and then i’ll quit the game and say thats that.

but for now i’m just enjoying this game that i bought

Changed my blog title cos it absolutely the state of mind i’m in right now.

And of course the obligatory theme song of the day.

Had my first lesbian theme night at zouk. It was quite fierce really. They had this runway show with a couple of models in lingerie (ever had those moments where your looking at a word and it looks funny? Like the spelling is off? Well lingerie is looking funny to me right now…) spanking each other with dildos. and then i was shuffled off to inside baggage with only the stadium to look at. What a boor.

Some couples looked really sweet though. Not sweet as in hot but like they looked really cute and happy together. Huh i guess its all about finding the person who fits you.

But the thing that triggered this bittersweet spell isn’t actually girls kissing girls..but nostalgia. nostalgia’s a real bitch you know that. Words can’t describe the technicolor experience that has been playing in my head. So just play the damm song and think of the things that make you sad and lonely.

Eh i love post CNY – sales… picked up 2 shirts and a jacket from S n K for 35 such a steal..also splurged on marks and spencer candy and i got my ears pierced! so this is how it feels like to be penetrated…painful.

Job hunt didn’t turn out so well today…didn’t get a good vibe from the interviewers. One of them gave me this look when i told her i wanted at least 6.50 an hour. Can almost imagine her saying (you look like more of a 6 to me). Why can my frens get 7 and not me???? The proof is in the pudding I technically have 4 agents scouring jobs for me and so far no calls. bleh.

That leaves me with more time to watch movies than i can shake a stick at. Watched Last King of Scotland, Shortbus, Casino Royale. And all i can feel like saying is..they are all very good.

Sometimes though it feels like i’m living my life vicariously through them (them in this case extending to music/games/visual enternainment). feels like i’m looking from the outside at all these people with like these broad range of emotions and experiences that i can only try to grasp at. What makes me different from an average soap opera fan hmm? Or for that matter what makes you different hmm? if we are but content to stay within our narrow scope of vision we’ll have nary anything to call our own..living our life as a composite shadow of others.

I don’t have the strength to do what i believe must be done.never have. someday i hope that will change though. and when that day comes my bags wil be packed.

Ah fuck sorry for dissappearing fron the radar for so long…

well the first fruits of my labour have come in…800 in 2 weeks…not bad hehe. 300 will no doubt dissappear under dubious circumstances but i’ll make do with 500 so thats like 3 months to bracers?

ah yes.. CNY. Now lets make one thing clear…I don’t consider myself chinese. not that i’m a bigot or against my own race or anything..but its hard to consider yourself chinese when you aren’t familiar with its customs, traditions, history or language. And i suspect my family feels the same way. So we make do with our own adapted version. Our reunion dinner this year was a seafood bbq with stale seafood Past years we had steamboat and teppanyaki.

When it comes to visiting our family is “that anti-social kid”. We visit only immediate relatives and stop there. And we go about doing that in 60’s inspired garb. I predict when my generation takes over the tan family…we might stop visiting all together

Zouk was a real killer, worked 4 days thruout the cny weekend. My throat is gone…so too are my lungs i think. So glad for the break now…Got a nice 40 dollar angpow bonus from the company though and tips came in so .. ka-ching DJs over the weekend FATMAN SNOOP who came late…spun for an hour…then dissappeared. What was really good though was Agnelli & Nelson who dropped by on monday…really good trance music. Attracted a fair bit of ravers with lightsticks. Too bad the crowd wasn’t up to par.

JAP Lessons have started but i’m having a bit’ol difficulty finding time to study but i really think thats just an excuse because if i stop watching so many damm movies and english dramas i’ll have more than enough time.

Zouk.

For what its worth…its still just a company looking to make the bottom line work.

It worries when theres a less than capacity crowd. It worries when new clubs open.

It struggles to find employment. It loses people on a daily basis and has to resort to recruiting noobs like me.

Its not a very fun place to work. When the crowd is thin…you breathe a sigh of relief..cos all you have to do is pick up after the stoners. You get to take a good look at the pretty people.

But when things get rough as they tend to do sometimes…things can get screwy.

One of those days was yesterday. voided two receipts..gave the bottle card back to the customer. very sad.

FNB doesn’t come to me naturally. I’m the kinda guy who sees a candle nearly going out..blows the old one out…takes out a new candle..realises hes should have lit the new one with the flame of the old one…lits the new one anyway…and then proceeds to do the same thing at the next table. Now why can’t the neurological pathways that do that run along the same ones that allow me to analyse overarching concepts with exacting detail.

Bah i think i just need practice.

Sometimes the people make it worthwhile. There were these 2 girls who appeared while i was doing baggage. Lights were very bright..could see they were def very pretty. Started talking to each other in a language i couldn’t understand…but i caught jap like syllables. “nihon-jin?” i ventured. “Nono..korean.” “Arrasou” Heart skipped a beat. Made my day hmmm..baggage and korean girls..def one of the better days.

Will talk about the people someday. Save it for a rainy day. Too many to talk about. Since i’m already on the topic of beautiful girls though…

Its a rare one that makes you look twice once your inside. The smoke and fog, the darkness..everyone looks pretty much the same. Once in a blue moon though.. a girl walks by that catches all the guys attention. tall..model type, conventionally pretty. Looks like no one can touch her…(by the end of the evening though usually a lot do). Why do i make special mention of them even though they are so conventionally beautiful? Cos its one thing to see them on tv..its another thing to see them in person. And i can honestly say in my limited experience..i have never seen them such upclose before. They must keep them in some warehouse during the day.

Verbal diarrohea(sp?). Get ready for it.

So for anyone who doesn’t know yet i have picked up a job at zouk. And i have also been working OT for the past 2 weeks. In that time i have clocked a grand total of 141 hours of work. Which should bring me a big fat cash hongbao of 900+. Haven’t deducted cpf yet. god i hate cpf. I mean its completely useless for a person who wants to commit suicide before hes 60. Its discriminating against me! More on zouk later.

I’m doing this purely for the money. Now i know what your thinking…money does not gurantee you happiness. I think thats a load of hogwash designed by the bourgeoisie elites to keep the proletariat happy. I haven’t met one single rich guy who wasn’t well adjusted. If you have money…you certainly, absolutely have one less thing to worry about. No? Kinda understand how girls go straight for the rich expats/old men. Seems so fucking easy than dealing with all this shit. Hell just fake a few orgasms till the fucker croaks..or better still nail him with the pre-nup.

Simmering tensions in the house erupted again. I think it all started when my mom didn’t like my new job. not that i particularly care though. for some reason the shop came up again only thing is there has been a new development. My dad has realised the futility of working in a shop that can’t pay its own bills. (ok to be fair theres a bit of house expenses in there). My mother on the other hand is “convinced” that the time is not right to give it up yet. I have been waiting for 4 years.

She seems convinced a miracle will happen. She says god says its not the time yet. Now i always had a healthy respect for god. I’m not a pure atheist. Because i can’t prove that god doesn’t exist. And those people who think they in their limited capacity of mind know absolutely better….are fools. The only truth is what you believe in. But for what you have done to my mother..pseudo being that you are. I denounce you. Thats like the most cardinal of cardinal sins. I refuse to acknowledge your presence cause you have reduced my mother to a mere pittance…a desperate person who can’t form opinions for herself. There goes my salvation.

Now you may think this reaction extreme. think that i’m still far from the cliff. i’m not begging for money on the streets yet. And if you go to my house you will see that i have 2 computers, 2 tvs, 2 fridges. except for the fridges though..none of them have been bought in the last 5 years. The 2 computers, one is from the starhub tie-in from a year ago, the other from the PREV one 3 years ago. The big tv is spoilt. So is the heater. The fridge is chock full of preparatory ingredients. Sometimes you can find milk. Lots of drinks though. Instant stuff like hash browns. Hard pressed to find anything else (like MEAT). I have no idea how to pay for my education other than taking a big fat loan. My parents cpf is depleted(naturally seeing as to how they are self-employed) and theres still 10 years on the mortgage.

The cliff doesn’t look too far for me.

Certainly i believe there are so many things that money can buy. Thats why i work as hard as i do. And i can always rest in UNI. Not stupid though..looking to upgrade my day job to something higher paying. People keep saying they want to quit their job even though its much better paying because its stressful. I eat stress for dinner. You will be surprised how much you can take.

So yesterday i watched “An Inconvenient truth”..

I know i’m a little way behind the rest of the developed world…hey i couldn’t download much with stupid WoW running in the background okay.

Is it sick of me to find this film thats based on a slideshow on climate change..the most touching film i have seen in the past year? there’s something wrong right?

and yet i couldn’t help but feel for this man who spent the better part of his life on a one man crusade to save the environment by giving the same presentation a thousand times over…this ex vice-president who lost his one good chance to steer the world clear of disaster when he lost to the hick that is the current U.S president..i mean this film is really really sad

Also watched “Borat”. which quite frankly was a little dissapointing. Now this “borat” fella.. his modus operandi (sp?) is to appear as a boorish and crude foreign reporter, goad his unsuspecting “interviewee” into making comments that they wouldn’t have said in any other circumstance. thus revealing their true bigoted/racist/prejudiced self. At least thats what he does on the Ali G show…

but in this film…the majority of reactions are well…normal. I mean the people on this film handled it pretty well. most of the humour comes from sascha acting like a dick. which quite frankly makes it no different from any film starring jack black. Except its supposedly “real”. (some scenes were staged) i mean come on america is the land of white supremacists, religious fanatics, scientologists and bush …and all the best you could do was interview drunk frat boys and feminists? And they couldn’t even say anything funny…

Its still worth a watch. Not worth money though ..not at that length..

Stil have A Scanner Darkly and March of the Penguins. hmm .. *glomps*

How happy is the blameless Vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign’d

-Alexander pope

I’m sorry …i’m in a nostalgic mood right now….

blogger just updated their software…you can now update your posts with tags which used to be a feature of wordpress only and tabulas i’m gonna go through all the posts and retag them…and then i realise omfg i have a lot of posts…but i still treasure all of them

I have rebooted my journals like what 3/4 times? I was blogging even before blogging became popular..anyone remember livejournal? Hell that was way back in 2000, blogger was barely a baby in 2001, how things have changed.

this blog remains about my only tangible link to the past….many times i have thought of deleting it…twice i have stopped for lack of interest in blogging/life, but hopefully i never reach the stage of deleting it. I wish now i had my livejournals preserved..if only to see how stupid and ignorant i was..

A few things you should have realised about me – I’m not a nice person. I have the appearance of being nice, i have nice “reactions” and generally speaking i don’t fuck around….but i’m not a nice person. Nice people donate to charity willingly nice people give their seats up to elderly, nice people don’t hurt their friends nice people don’t make use of them. I’m not a nice person. I’m sensitive yea…and being sensitive you would think i would be just that little bit more sensitive to other people…but most of the time i’m only being sensitive to myself. and i hate that. i really do.. i hate hate hate hate hate this part of me thats really not very nice. i’m so very very sorry …

Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004) – Get it from me. Go watch it. This is as good as it gets.